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i apologize [02 Sep 2004|12:57am]
I am apologizing in advance to Krystal and any other decent people who are sadly drawn in by the miraculously believable lies of President Bush for any comments I may say against the President or Republican Party in the next 2 months before the election.

USA Kerry Criticizes Bush Handling of Iraq
Fred Cooper and Victor Beattie
02 Sep 2004, 03:31 UTC

Democratic Party presidential candidate Senator John Kerry says President Bush has mishandled nearly every aspect of the Iraq war. Speaking to a convention of veterans Wednesday, Senator Kerry said Mr. Bush's actions have failed to make Iraq safe.
Senator Kerry told veterans at the American Legion national convention in Nashville, Tennessee that President Bush's actions following the swift defeat of the Iraqi army have failed to make Iraq a safe and stable place.

"Our differences could not be plainer and I have set them out consistently," he said. "When it comes to Iraq, it's not that I would have done one thing differently, I would have done almost everything differently."

The Democratic candidate, in his speech to America's largest veterans group, asserted that Mr. Bush's policies have allowed terrorists to secure new havens in Iraq, violence to spread, extremism to gain momentum in the country, and the radical government in Iran to gain influence.

"By dismissing the State Department's plan for post-war Iraq, and proceeding unilaterally, the civilian leadership simply did not put in place the mechanism to be able to secure the country. They were unprepared for the looting, insecurity and insurgency that burst out with the fall of Saddam Hussein's regime," he said.

Senator Kerry, a Vietnam War veteran and a member of the American Legion, nevertheless expressed confidence that with what he called the right policies, the war against terrorism can be won. He also said he "absolutely disagrees" with President Bush's recent remark that the war against terror might not be winnable.

President Bush clarified the comment Tuesday, telling the same veterans group that he believes America will win the fight against terrorism.

Mr. Kerry also noted that despite the Bush administration's efforts in Afghanistan, al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden remains at large. He told the veterans group that he would have sent the best trained forces in the world to get, what he called the number one criminal in the world.
eat my shorts

[02 Sep 2004|12:16am]
goodnight you moonlight ladies, and rock a bye sweet baby james
2 short eating assgrabbers| eat my shorts

My senior essay [30 Aug 2004|02:05pm]
I've been clearing out all my old documents and such, and getting ready to delete gigabytes and gigabytes worth of stuff from my computer so my parents can have more free space on it once I leave for Boston. However, I stumbled across my senior essay and for no reason other than randomness, and being too lazy to walk upstairs and get my notebook from New Hampshire to throw some more excerpts out of, or to write any rants, here it is.

For most people, life goes by like a blur. When morning breaks, the sun hits their eyes and they wake up for another day of repetition. This could mean sitting in a cubicle from 9 to 5, drinking coffee on the go and talking on their cell phone for 8 hours straight, or if they are lucky enough, wallowing in the millions of dollars they inherited from obscenely rich parents. Regardless of what category people fall into, they all have something in common; they never break routine.
Maybe routine is comfortable. People enjoy comfort, which is why they buy fluffy pillows, warm blankets and sweatpants. Comfort is something that people go to great measures to feel. The only problem I see with this is, comfort isn’t enough.
No one lives. Well yes, obviously people breathe, think, communicate, and show other signs that they are alive, but no one lives. Wasting your years of existence following routine, being comfortable, and doing what society says is ‘right’ is hardly living. Of course, my definition of living thus far is fairly vague.
What do I constitute as living? It’s keeping a free, open mind. Living is breathing for yourself, attempting to gain an understanding of your goals on this earth. Living is appreciating what has been given to you, and making as much as you can out of what you have. By my definition of living, there are very few people here that are really alive.
Keeping a free open mind means this: don’t let others make decisions for you. Many people think they make their own choices, but no one really does. Society has set up rules for people to live by; standards that everyone accepts without much thought. With all these ‘rules’ and ‘standards’ imbedded into peoples’ minds, it’s easy to have plenty of outside influence affect decision-making processes without people realizing it’s happening. By this, I mean little things, such as fads, like tattoos and different body piercings. People actually mutilate their body because they believe that they think it looks ‘cool’. I feel that it’s sad that people should have to deface their body or cause any harm to themselves to fit the standards of the world today.
The culture around us is material. I don’t mean that people like to have some nice comforts such as leather couches and jewelry, but people base their entire lives around material possessions. Apparently in this crazy and mixed up world, wealth and happiness were thrown in the same boat. Possessions make people feel good about themselves. The more people own, the better off they are, right? Wrong.
An entire life spent accumulating all the clothes and jewelry possible separates people from the earth, from the things that matter. People become walking zombies, roaming the grounds making money, paying bills, and buying as much as they can. People are so busy that they forget to stop and think about the little things, like the smell of the morning, or the richness of the color in the sky.
These things may seem trivial, but once all money is gone, and all possessions are gone, forests and rivers will still be here. Don’t mistake this for a desperate attempt to connect mankind to nature again, that’s merely a small portion of it. However, nature is just one of the many wondrous parts of life that people overlook. The most nature that people experience is the potted plant next to their desk at work. If everyone took a little bit of time out of their day to appreciate everything around them it would be one step closer to really living.
I’ve always felt that it’s not what you can accumulate in your life that makes you special, but what you can do with what you already have. All of my respect goes to those people who have next to nothing but are happy nonetheless. Those people go to show you that owning a BMW and two hot tubs isn’t the recipe for happiness. It’s enjoying life, enjoying what’s around you, finding elation in the small things. Life is far more fulfilling when you don’t burden yourself with material possessions and bills. It’s considerably easier to focus on living when you don’t have these wastes of space in your way.
Besides owning as much land and jewelry as possible, people don’t have many goals in their lives. For most of us, life is about being born, getting an education, finding a good job, marrying, starting a family, retiring, and dying. I’d be willing to bet that not many people look much further than that. They see the path that is laid out ahead of them and follow it. Not enough people create their own path.
How would you create your own path? Consider this. Find what makes you happy, not what society says should make you happy, but what makes you happy. This may be playing music, painting, cooking, or working with tools. Next, look ahead. You’ve already created your own path; all you must do now is follow it. Fulfillment in life comes from doing what you want to do. Why waste your time working on something you don’t like just because you get a few extra dollars? If following your path lands you on a farm, painting animals and growing your own food, fantastic! Living how you choose to live is living. If your surroundings try to swing you in a different direction, don’t listen. That’s the key to happiness.
Sadly, not only are most people not living by my terms, but some aren’t even living by the dictionary’s terms. Death is a part of life, but it becomes a problem when it is self induced. I’ve never once understood how things can become so bad for anyone that they would choose to end their existence. Life is such a beautiful thing, but unfortunately somewhere in time some individuals’ perception of it becomes distorted. They don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel; they don’t hear the birds singing as they once did. They feel this world isn’t theirs to live in anymore, and that is one of the saddest thoughts imaginable to me.
Think about this; the possibility of you even existing on this planet is so small that you should wake up grateful every morning that you’re even here. Dating back to thousands of ancestors before you, if the circumstances were different for any single one of those people, you wouldn’t be here. If a pair of your past relatives had conceived a day later, or maybe just a minute later, the possibility of anyone else down that line would be greatly reduced. Knowing how small a chance there was of you even existing, how is it even possible to want to end the greatest gift given to you?
Even if you lose everything you own, the sun still burns in the sky for you. When you feel you’ve hit rock bottom, you have the comfort of knowing that things can only go uphill from there. It is hard to rebuild, and sometimes it’s a long and arduous process, but in the end it’s worth it. Life is worth living, because no matter what happens, you still have the stars, you still have the ocean, you still have the ground. I just wish more people would see that.
I’ve been told that every good essay ends with a great conclusion. Well, I’ve never been good at writing essays. I’ve been a good thinker, but as far as writing, I never got into the habit of throwing in a plethora of large pretentious words (such as pretentious and plethora) to make my essay look fancier. I write as I speak, and I speak as I think, and if that holds me back in life somehow, well then I’ll just look back at my passion.
The conclusion is this; people are either not living life to the fullest, not appreciating what they have, or not living at all. These are topics no one likes to think about because it leads to boring rants with dead ends such as mine. I could care less, this is the most important subject to me because it’s so hard to be happy when everyone else around me isn’t because they don’t know what happy is. So is this a self-help guide to being happy? No, not really, I can’t tell people how to be happy and live their life, only they can. All this is is a wake up call for those who have strayed away from their passion. It’s a reminder that your time on this earth is limited, so live it right. It’s a slap in the face, saying that life is amazing, so appreciate it, and don’t leave until it’s your time.
I’ve presented what I feel is missing in people’s lives, and realists would say “That’s impossible. You just have to get through the daily grind and be happy as best you can.” I guess that works for some people, although I do have some pity for them. There’s a whole new world that they are afraid to look into, and that’s the difference between a realist and an idealist like myself. Realists see boundaries and live as best they can until they hit them; an idealist never stops reaching for the stars. This essay is about whatever it is that it’s about. Take it as you will, if I haven’t touched your mind yet, writing another thousand words won’t do any good at all. To conclude…stop reading this, go live.
3 short eating assgrabbers| eat my shorts

[28 Aug 2004|03:32am]
It's just after 3:30 this morning and I got home a little while ago. I'm sitting here in front of my computer eating gummi bears and listening to Coldplay, The Cure, The Beatles, and whoever else comes on. I was out with Tim, Kristin, and Ben. It was a typical night, we went to Friendly's and ate ice cream, watched American History X, then we walked Kris home. Gave her a hug, we walked back to Tim's, then I said my goodbyes to Tim and Ben. As soon as I turned around and went back to my car, I realized that this is where everything changes.

When I graduated, I didn't give a shit. Honestly I don't care if I ever see 99% of those people again, but the 1% I care about, I really fucking miss with all my heart. Tim, Ben, Kris, Kevin, Nicole, Kyle, those are the kids in my class that probably knew me best.

Even if I was only fortunate enough to know Kris for this past year, she thinks so much like me that it's unbelievable. I love her independence and envy her ability to stand up to anything. She's probably one of the coolest people I know, and is dating one of the coolest guys I know.

Tim just seems to be so out of touch, but it's because he's so in touch that he seems this way. He understands that most of the time the world is shit, yet manages to get past it in a second. It's amazing.

Ben is without a doubt the person I wish more than anyone else ever I could have spent more time with. Unfortunately, he had to be in Texas the past couple years. But when I'm with him, it doesn't matter that I haven't seen him for a year, we just keep on talking like we never stopped.

I'm fortunate enough to not have to say goodbye to Kevin and Kyle. They'll be right up there with me keeping me in check.

So yeah, for once I'm not looking forward as much as I'm looking back. College will be amazing, but I wish I could've had the great people along for the ride.

But regardless of what I'm losing, I'm also gaining plenty of things. The people I met at orientation, Kyle, Britt, Paul, Nicolette, Jean, Hunter, Chris, they'll all be up there. And then there's super cool people that I've just started talking to from there that I'm looking forward to meeting like Emily, Jaime and David (the latter 2 being my roomates). Then there are a bunch of others. It's just gonna be amazing. I should start packing soon.

So on Kris' myspace page she ranted against the punk scene. I loved it. It's how I feel about all the scenes in general. I can't say I've been part of this scene forever, only since 8th grade/Freshmen year did I really put a foot forward and step into this world. I think I caught it just before Hot Topic prostituted the entire scene and made it a trend.

Emo kids for example. I used to call myself emo. Kids that call themselves emo for 1) are whiny pussies who have shittier hair than me, ugly clothes, and consider themselves elitists. 2) they generally have no concept of emo. They will throw out names such as Dashboard Confessional, Taking Back Sunday, Thursday, The Juliana Theory, etc. Do I love those bands? Well, the last two, yes. But are they emo? God no. An artist that sings about an emotional subject with punk roots isn't immediately emo. Thursday - rock. The Juliana Theory - rock. DC - pop. TBS - pop punk. No emo. Seriously, don't talk about emo. I hate the word because it's so fucking broad. Just listen to music and get some pants that don't choke your balls. Your kids will thank you later unless you continue to force girls to dump you so you can cry about heartbreak.

Hardcore. I fucking hate hate hate hardcore kids. Why? They're assholes. Especially straight edge kids. Don't get me wrong, there's a few really cool edge kids, but they go and are anti drugs, anti drinking, anti sex, anti whatever else so they can see themselves as better than you. It's a cult. Apparently it's supposed to be so they're not sheep or something, so they have a clean life, but it's obviously to fit in. You say you do it so you don't drink, don't do drugs, don't have premiscuous sex? Fine. Don't do that stuff, it's as easy as that. Just don't go to city hall and change your name to xjerryx, put those ugly ass sleeves on your arms, cut your hair short and act like a dick to everyone who's not you. You're not special.

Punk. Fuck punk. Kris said it best, if you want to read something great, search out her myspace name. Plus, most punk sucks. But as she said, it was supposed to be about unity, but there's no unity. It's supposed to be about independence. There's plenty of independence with your double mohawk there Billy, just as independent as the 20 other guys with the same double mohawk, ripped jeans and Doc Martens.

Hot Topic. It's not part of the whole 'scene', but it sucks. As I already said, it whored the industry. It took an underground, independent, love for the music, anti commercial industry and turned it into the newest MTV fad. I can be happy to say I've never bought anything to help support that shitty place. Plus, they hire ugly kids with ugly piercings and ugly hair. It's like since NSync and then the nu-metal craze died, any kid can walk into Hot Topic, buy some band shirts, a couple wristbands, some dumbass looking pants (or if they want they can go to the Salvation Army or JC Penney for the tighest pants they can find), maybe get a couple gauged ears, and bam they're sooo scene.

I'm super happy with all my 'scene' music, just as happy as I am with my select variety of hip hop, country, jazz, classical, folk rock and etc. I guess I just love music too much to settle in any kind of group.

So anyway, back to New Hampshire. Most of the stuff I wrote is wack, but whatever. It's so weird that I got in these moods, I'll share a couple things with you. Just writings of whatever form.

ablaze becomes my fist as we unveil your broken cathedral. inside a search team discovers your eyes, your breath, your tepid values. ive traveled here on angels and plagues, and im taken aback at what i see. a lust ridden tomb, persistently beating out the sound of your seductive drum. greed infested halls tear apart my mind and those around me. escape is evidently a work in progress. this is the awakening of the rag doll slave who keeps you company. pry loose from my stigmatic grip and behold your many wonders. this hunger has been ignored, but refuses to let up. i see right through you. mirror my words. it makes no difference, you are perceived as the victor anyhow, and always will be for that matter. gracious arms, cradle my broken body and rip me to pieces in the same movement. regardless, some queens will never die, and you are my only one.

so yeah, then i sat down on a step by the lake and watched a spider spin its web. actually, there were two spiders busy at work, but i only focused on one. im so arachnaphobic, i didnt understand why i didnt immediate;y jump back at the sight of a spider. but when i watched it spin its web, i saw the beauty in it. it was like an artform that i could fully appreciate. it made me entire fall in love with the spider. i used to knock down spider webs without giving it as much as a thought, but now i see that its like smearing shit on the cieling of the sistine chapel. honestly, it was just poetry and it was amazing. god - this is how bored i am up here, im shitting myself over a spider.

honestly, i dont know anything anymore. my heads constantly spinning, and im just completely lost. suicide's always a thought of mine. i guess i should clarify that. id NEVER end my life, my gift, but i just like to loosely wonder about how that would ease things for me. of course im not a selfish fuck, and id think of other people's pain if it ever came down to where i wanted to commit suicede. aha. suicede. i cant spell.
god, thats a concept that just wont settle with me. in two weeks ill be in college. it will possibly be the best 5 years of my life. and then i cant imagine where this will put me 5 years from now. i have to face the real world, get a real job. id much rather just play music for a living, but that may not be the reality.
for some reason, the kindness of others saddens me. if someone shoots me a warm, genuine smile, as one girl did tonight, it just bothers me because i know that in the end, those are the people, we are the people who get FUCKED. its the lying hardass businessmen that get ahead. the nice, congenial person always gets shit on. its one of the side truths of life that always makes suicide feel so warm. still, suicide sucks and its not for me.

hold up, its almost 4:30 right now. i need to be up in a couple hours, so i need a LITTLE sleep. night, err, morning.
5 short eating assgrabbers| eat my shorts

here's the skinny [27 Aug 2004|01:19am]
[ mood | sleeepy ]

So I've got a million things to talk about. Here we go.

I was in New Hampshire for a week. Great times, terrible times. I felt like I was at Walden's Pond or something, the entire time I was there I felt incredibly in touch with nature. My social life there was inexistant, and it was good and bad at the same time.

On one hand I didn't have to deal with problems, but on the other hand, an odd feeling of utter loneliness sank in. I'm not one to whiny about that stuff (ok, maybe I am now), but an entire week of near silence when you're used to acting like a dick for attention is crazy. I bought a notebook there and wrote a good 30 something pages, full length front to back pages. I just wrote about what I was thinking at the moment, and I learned that I think so much that I could write forever.

There's a few things I learned I like in New Hampshire, and a few I don't.

Things James likes so you should too.

1. Dennis Miller. He's off the hate list and is now the coolest conservative on the block. While he may usually argue points that have hundreds of holes in them, he still does at least see that a lot of Republican ideals are bullshit and will argue them too. Yay Dennis. Plus he's cool with Al Sharpton.

2. Cursive - The Ugly Organ
Blink182 - S/T
Copeland - Beneath Medicine Tree
A Silver Mt. Zion - This is Our Punk Rock, Thee Rusted Satellites Gather + Sing
Circle Takes the Square - As the Roots Undo
The Rocket Summer - Calendar Days
Glassjaw - Everything You wanted to Know About Science
(I loved all this before, I just rocked them more than anything else in New Hampshire)

3. Misty May and Kerry Walsh

4. Black bears, even when they're ten feet from your face.

5. Bill Maher

6. Sleeping in til 12

7. Coffee Coolatas (I never knew my love for them until I went a week without one)

8. My guitar

So here's some things I don't like from New Hampshire.

1. High school kids. I'm still practically one, but these kids were fucking immature.

2. Ann Coultier.

3. Allen Iverson and everyone on the US Basketball team except Tim Duncan, Lamar Odom, Emeka Okafor and I think there was one more.

4. My discman. I had to wear my sweatshirt in 70 degree weather because otherwise I'd have to carry it around so it wouldn't skip in my small jeans pockets. My sweatshirts had big discman sized pockets.

5. My dad's driving.

6. Loneliness

There's more, but I forgot. I'll read through my notebook and remember though.

Since I've been back, I've been working my shitty job at Ashlar Village, trying to spend time with my friends before they all go away, and watching my friends go away. So far I've got Tim, Ben, Kristen, and then Kyle and Kevin who are going up to Northeastern with me. However, after tomorrow night, Ben and Tim are gone, and I've got Kristen and the NEU people. Well there's all my other friends too, but I'm thinking of the one's going off.

I've also been talking to a lot of really cool people from Northeastern, some of them are really knowledgeable about music. Can't wait.

One week til my birthday.

I'm abandoning all scenes. I used to want to be emo a long time ago, then I wanted to be indie, then I wanted to be hardcore, then I wanted to be emo again, now I just want to be James. I listen to all that and everything else. My boot cut Old Navy Jeans, button up shirts and regular band t-shirts from the last few years are my wardrobe and that's fine. My hair's gonna keep growing because I like it in my face, I like shaking it when I get out of the shower, and my hair is so random that I love the misplaced curls. However, tomorrow morning I shave.

I have to pirate LOTS of CD's before college. I used to be fine with having them on my computer, but I won't have my own computer soon. Yay. That's not sarcasm, I actually do hate this fucking thing. It's a burden, it draws me in whenever I'm plagued with boredom. Without it, I go for walks, write, think, and find something to do. This makes me dumber. So anyway, yeah, without it, I have no place to store all my music, so I need to burn it all and take it with me. It'll be a few hundred CD's I've got up there total.

I picked up The Exorcist I, II, and III, Reservoir Dogs and Requiem for a Dream the Director's Cut the other day. That all cost me 35 bucks I think. I'm good with saving money there.

Also, Tim, Ben, Kristen and I saw the new Exorcist. Good shit, I'd advise anyone to see it. It's not the psychological horror that keeps you up for years after like the first one, but it's super jumpy and kind've funny at the cheesy parts.

I still need to see Garden State and Napoleon Dynamite.

Actually, I've had a rough few days energy wise, so I'm really tired and unable to think much anymore. My dad's working from home tomorrow so I probably can't sleep in, and I still have to work again tomorrow (only 3 more days of that shithole though and 2 more at the Oakdale!), so I need my sleep. I'll update whatever I forgot here tonight, tomorrow.


2 short eating assgrabbers| eat my shorts

im right and youre wrong [03 Aug 2004|01:59pm]
So yesterday was the super bad horror movie day. Good movies mostly, although I fucked up and rented what was merely a weak mystery movie. Fucking deceptive covers.

I woke up this morning and thought about this; I have to work today. I'm thinking I'll only have to work at this job like 10 more times, and thr Oakdale maybe 5. In a couple weeks I'll be hanging in New Hampshire, nice and relaxing there, and in a month I'll be 18 and about to move to Boston. Life's about to get fucking good.

So as I abandon most of what I have known my entire life back here, I should reflect on some stuff.

However, I don't give a shit about much back here, so I won't reflect. Besides my family, Sarah, my close friends, my house and my cat, what else do I give a shit about in Meriden? Not much, besides the fact that while it's a shitty place, it's given me some good experience with diversity that many people don't get. When you live in one place your whole life, you imagine every place is like yours. When you meet 10 people and 8 of them come from towns where it's 95% white, it boggles your fucking mind. They're not as used to black people, latino people, asian people, etc.

So these people are sometimes ignorant in their thoughts. They see black people on BET and think they're all like that. I used to be a dick, used to consider myself fairly racist, but when I sat down and thought about it, it's fucking stupid. Knowing a bunch of cool minority people here in Meriden has put me above all that. Sadly, I still see a bunch of racist fucks bitching about stuff they don't know about. I can't wait to get away from that as much as possible and meet a lot more people like myself.

I wasn't even planning on writing about race issues in my life, that just popped up.

What I meant to write was, I'm better than you all. My opinion is right and yours is wrong. People complain and bitch way too much about shit that doesn't even matter. Just live your fucking life.

Or something.
2 short eating assgrabbers| eat my shorts

FUCK BUSH [31 Jul 2004|12:17am]

Does this mean I'm gay/bi?  No, sorry fellas, still not.  However, I might just be more pro-gay than lots of gay people.  In his speech today (yesterday now that it's past midnight), my little buddy Georgey decided to make it a point that marriage is something that must be kept sacred.  It made me think of the only time (besides Dogma) that I found Chris Rock funny.

"Bush thinks that homosexuals will ruin marriage.  I thought straight people fucked that up at least 50 years ago."

Something along those lines.  It's funny actually.  Divorce rates are high, there's constant fighting over who gets the kids, who pays what, who gets what, and so on.  However, the only reason that these neo-religious right conservative pricks can come up with is that 'a marriage must be kept between a man and a woman.' 

Seriously.  What the fuck?  These people are fighting to marry, all they want is the same benefits, the same great memory in their live's of when they vowed to spend the rest of their life with someone. 

Put down your fucking Bible, it doesn't run this country.  It's a book written by men, revised thousands of times over the years, with different versions telling their different stories.  Would you trust a science book telling something as fact if there were 5 other science books saying something completely opposite is fact?  If it's all up to interpretation, then good.  Interpret it as you will, but leave the actual facts to run the country. 

The Bible doesn't even talk about homosexuals being sinners as much as its made out to be.  There are plenty of other 'sins against moral holiness' said by God that people don't even bother to recognize these days. 

"You shall not steal; you shall not deal falsely; and you shall not lie to one another." - Leviticus 19:11

You can't steal or deal falsely or lie?  Wait, wasn't that how this country was brought about?  As long as we're going against God's word, then let men be with men and women be with women.

"You shall keep my statutes.  You shall not let your animals breed with a different kind; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed; nor shall you put on a garment made of two different materials.' - Leviticus 19:19

Seriously, does anyone follow that?  If they don't, then what makes homosexuals so awful?  Can anyone tell me?  If you can prove me wrong and make me look like a dumbass, go ahead.  I'll shut up, bow my head, and admit wrong.  But I still don't believe in the Bible or any book written by men to be God's word. 


22 short eating assgrabbers| eat my shorts

[30 Jul 2004|01:53am]
i am forgetting typewriter handwriting, and how to embrace in a storm of halos to watch the floor melt to know I melt with it i secretly opened one eye and watched Selene move beyond my horizon secrets tend to tell themselves i find, i find I will not miss. clandestine heartaches buried years deep in stagnant days writing lullabies across the moon i have rescued dreams dying on yesterday's embers fashioning flowers from fancy skipping stones across april showers we will dance upon days time has forgotten to let dawn's drapery enfold us gazing at angels through the eyes of a second
eat my shorts

<3 john edwards [29 Jul 2004|11:35pm]
So I worked today. ha. Oh well, wasn't tooo bad.

But I watched the final night of the Democratic National Convention. Go Kerry. I would've rather had Dean or Edwards, but Kerry, you're a cool guy.

So he's not out to divide, he's out to unite. Gosh, Georgey boy could learn something from that. I like the fact that everything George W Bush is for, Kerry is for the exact opposite. That means that Kerry is probably right for everything.

So, if you're of legal age or will be by election time to vote, then vote. Otherwise you are dumbass. If Bush is president again, I think there should be a law where if you didn't vote, you can't bitch about the president. If you didn't vote and you do bitch, you will be slaughtered mercilessly.

With Kerry in power, maybe the fucked up economy can get back to as good as it was in the Clinton years (yes kiddos, besides getting his cock sucked, Clinton did actually do some important things in his presidence, such as setting up a good economy for Bush to ruin). Maybe Kerry will set up a solid plan to get the troops out of Iraq. Maybe Kerry will pay the soldiers fair wages once again. Maybe Kerry will help out the 3 million people that Bush left homeless. Maybe Kerry will put defunct after school programs back in business again by giving the proper funding that Bush took away. Maybe Kerry will help guide this country away from the hatred and bigotry that Bush has been pushing it towards.

So, fuck Bush. Vote if you can, and don't fuck up and make the wrong choice this time.

Note...this silly little teenager's Live Journal will be viewed by about 3 people, and if they're able to vote, they probably will already be voting for Kerry.
5 short eating assgrabbers| eat my shorts

guess what time it is [28 Jul 2004|08:00am]
[ mood | tired ]

it's 7:53 today and im awake. this is the first time ive been awake before 11:30 in about oh...i dont know...since the last time i had to work early in the morning. im quite tired but i dont feel ill be able to sleep. ahh, fuck it, who cares. so yeah, ill be working at the oakdale in a bit. fucking kids shows. I HATE KIDS. luckily, i got this girl to work for me at my other job today so i dont have to go straight to there after the oakdale. going from working with kids to working with old people sucks. first you see these kids are total losers and this country's future is fucked, then you see how feeble and depressing you will one day be. its honestly the shittiest thing ever. me and my dirty mouth. sorry, no more of that. i have three cold sores in my mouth. ouch. i also have a sore throat and swollen glands. kick ass. and...i downloaded the new taking back sunday cd last night. ya know, because i love them. well...its not as shitty as the other stuff theyve done, but still pretty bad. if im going to listen to pop punk though, ill probably stick with other stuff. oh wait sorry, i forgot...they're super pop post emo core with a twist of post rock or something.

eat my shorts

i got 99 problems and a bitch aint one [27 Jul 2004|02:33am]
hey there you pretty little rays of light you, its me.

i was thinking of more things i hate, and i want to put straight edge on, but im 50/50 on that.

on one hand, it means less kids doing drugs, drinking, having premiscuous sex.

on the other hand...it means kids not doing this to be part of a group. kids following every sxe rule so they can fit in. many become complete assholes, even worse than me, and automatically assume they are better than others for not poisoning their mind/body.

but, once again, theyre not doing drugs, drinking or having premiscuous sex.

so they are drug free and such, but theyre also sheep. so...who knows. 50/50.

also, id like to add, i am in love with danger mouse's grey album. i sat here this afternoon between cleaning out my room and doing laundry like a dork to pick out which white album song he used on each track. its good shit, check it out.

on that note, i cant think of anything to say. anyone want to bring up a topic of discussion, well then bring it up.
eat my shorts

WHOA [24 Jul 2004|12:49pm]
So last night I had this fucked up dream where I went and saw these skinheads and I smacked one of them upside the head with a baseball bat and then they chased me. So I ran away and went through all these apartment buildings and managed to get into this one and hid from those bastards until they figured out where I was and tried to break the door down, so I found another escape and ran away but there were like a thousand of them. I kept running down stairs and hiding but I kept seeing more and more. Then finally one saw me and chased me and I think he caught me, but my cell went off and I got woken up. Sad.

So also, more things I hate.

11. Skinheads (again)

12. Dennis Miller. He sucks, seriously. He's not funny, he doesn't know football, he doesn't know politics. But somehow, he got paid for all three. Asshole.

13. The new Montgomery Gentry song. It also sucks.

14. Guitar. I can't get good at it, so it's obviously a stupid instrument.
eat my shorts

aha [24 Jul 2004|12:39am]

go there, it's kinda funny to see how seriously these people take themselves. id go and make arguments against every single one of their sad little beliefs, but to me that would just validate their arguments, and we don't want that do we?

so just go there.
1 short eating assgrabber| eat my shorts

Things I hate [23 Jul 2004|04:24pm]
These are things that James hates, so you should hate too.

1. Skinheads

2. Hot Topic

3. Black people who hate white people for being white

4. Extremist Republicans who use Christianity to defend their bigoted views.

5. Shitty music, especially Taking Back Sunday, The Beautiful Mistake, From Autumn to Ashes, Atreyu, Yellowcard and Simple Plan

6. People who live on welfare, deal drugs on the side, yet still complain about how 'the man' fucks them over.

7. Chris Carraba, you big whiny, floppy vagina.

8. Sarah (on special request)

9. Kids who love American History X because they think it portrays skinheads in positive ways and because they curb a black guy. It shows how the entire skinhead and other hate scenes are complete bullshit you fucking twats.

10. Dance Dance Revolution. Seriously now, DDR seemed ok when it was just the new ecstacy for ugly loser goth kids with pimply faces and no lives, but since it's taken the country by storm, it's gotten very out of hand. News flash kids...it sucks. Fun Factor = 0. And for those who think it's just a more fun way to work out, it only seems like a workout because you're out of shape.
2 short eating assgrabbers| eat my shorts

im so fucking fucking fucking hot. [23 Jul 2004|12:17am]
[ mood | rock me and fuck me ]

so last night sucked. i learned my girlfriend has a bit of lack of respect for me and we have other issues to work out, but i guess thats all settled now. its all weird.

fuck you kyle and brittanie...since you guys were talking about going to see saves the day, i started listening to them on and off now...so bad yet so catchy. :(

um, so two nights ago i worked this little show with these little bands called the roots and 311. i worked through all of the roots' set, but then i saw this band 311. wow, i think theyre very good. they might be getting big soon, so get into them while theyre still underground.


They didn't play Flowing or Who's Got the Herb, but it was still a great 311 show. They finished with Down, as they did the last time I saw them, but get this.

They finished their set. They went off stage. We cheer and clap. They came back on. Nick Hexum puts the mic in his hands. He looks God awfully sexy. Then he says 'It's 95 and we go for the hive.'

And that's when I crap myself.

They came on and played Hive. Wow. According to them it was the first time in about 4 years, so I feel damn special to have witnessed it. And P-Nut was great in Feels so Good as always.


K, so yeah, then I worked yesterday at the Oakdale. I worked today at Ashlar Village. I love the totally crazy old people there. Actually, I hate them, but oh well.

I need to buy some new CD's, I haven't gotten any in about 5 or 6 days. WTF.

I'm bored now so I'll go write music/watch Boondock Saints.

Oh yeah, I forgot. I rented Se7en and watched it for the first time in forever. I remember why I love it so much. Will buy ASAP. I also rented Spliced, and I rented Faust: Love of the Damned. Both equally terribly cheaply made horror flicks, and while Faust had a great boob inflation scene, Spliced wins as the better shitty horror movie because it has Drew Lachey in it. HOT.

eat my shorts

slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball [19 Jul 2004|12:01am]
So yesterday = worst work day ever. I came in, got fucked over with take out meals I had to put together so I was late to begin with. Then every table I had forgot to order things and sent me back and forth all night. The old guy we have that serves coffee was mopping the floor while I walked by and I slipped and dropped a dinner. I poured hot coffee on my hand. I sliced my finger wide open on a broken water glass. I got finished with my work and had the shittiest day ever. How awful. Poor James. So I went out and bought myself some CD's to console myself, naturally.

So I bought Oasis - What's the Story Morning Glory? Oh God, the memories of old...the memories of new...the tears these guys brought me. I love Oasis.

The Pixies - Surfer Rosa...finally have this on CD, one of the best albums of all time. <3 The Pixies and Black Francis especially. Oooh, and speaking of that, I was watching a video for Finch doing What it is to Burn live at the Fireside Bowl in Chicago that I have on my computer, and after it, they do a cover of Where is my Mind. Wowzers.

The Rocket Summer - Calendar Days. God this is amazing. It's like Hanson, except it's on an indie label so I don't have to keep it a secret that I love the poppiness of Bryce Avery...and Bryce Avery is amazing and does every instrument. That's what cool people do. Plus he's cute and happy and he loves music as much as I do.

So today I woke up by the phone ringing. It was work. I had to come in. FUCK YOU WORK. I didn't shower so I was nice and greasy to serve food. Then I visited my grandparents and played pool with my grandfather. He rocks.

Breaking news: Ben Folds - Still Fighting It just came on my Winamp, and now I'm mad because it just made me think of how he DIDN'T play it at his show. Jerk.

K, so then after I got home I showered and saw Sarah. We hung out here while I washed my work clothes because guess what, I GET TO WORK TOMORROW TOO! Shitty jobs suck...I have to work Tuesday, but luckily it's at the Oakdale and it's 311. 311 + The Roots + me making burgers and hot dogs = niceness.

So Sarah and I hung out a bit and my parents came home from their week long vacation to New Hampshire. Then Sarah informed me that I'm a bad boyfriend and not romantic so I guess I'll have to work on that. Hmm, what else? I wrote some good songs, recorded a spontaneous cover of Hey Ya, hated work, missed Boston, missed Elite, hated work, loved Bryce Avery, loved Sarah, and now I guess it's time to do nothing. Love me.
2 short eating assgrabbers| eat my shorts

[17 Jul 2004|01:00am]
Today was one of those uneventful days that makes you feel bored to be alive. I think it's because I worked. Whenever I work, I miss out on anything fun...since I work from 3:45 til 7:45. Personally, those are usually my favorite hours of the day, but work sucks the fun out of it. I'll just get through it til September when I'm done there. Fuckin food service...

On a positive note, last night I finished a song and started another one.

On a negative note, I don't know how to play guitar and can't think of anything I like that I haven't done before. WTF. I want inspiration.

So it's still way too long before I go back to school. I miss Boston already. I miss Northeastern. I miss Elite. Of course there's plenty I'll miss back here, but I think not much back here will miss me.

So anyway, I've been living by myself for about a week now. It's pretty cool, but unfortunately I don't have any friends who would want to just come chill all night. Maybe I do, it's just that I don't talk to anyone. Oh well.

I feel like shit...probably because I know once I go to sleep, I'll wake up at noon tomorrow and realize I have to be at work in 3 hours. It's a depressing thought really...I feel bad for all the people that work jobs that they hate to make a living. I couldn't ever imagine doing that. I don't even hate this job, I just know I could have a better one. That's why I'll be working in the music industry. I like politics, but politicians are shitheads. I like food, but I don't like serving or making it. I hate science. I hate math, unless it's fun math. I like history, but don't want to make it my profession. I like music more than anything, and can't imagine a different course in life.

Personally, I hope to just get a degree in music industry and a minor in business administration and open up a music shop and become John Cusack in High Fidelity. Seriously, we're the same person, even looks-wise.

What else. I don't know. I'm going to go get drunk.

I'm just kidding of course, I don't drink.

What I meant was that I'm going to get drunk off of music...or some gay shit like that.

I'm tired if you can't tell.
3 short eating assgrabbers| eat my shorts

[ mood | punk awwwrrrr ]


So today I went to the Salvation Army to get some button up shirts. They look nice, and I feel good because instead of paying 20 bucks a shirt like I would be, I paid 20 bucks overall for the whole bunch I got. Then I stopped at Merle's and bought the Militia Group comp, Ferret Music 2004 comp, and Rock Against Bush.

So all them are good, as generally comps are, but Rock Against Bush seriously kicks ass. I haven't even listened to it yet, I just watched the DVD and read the liner notes. They have a lot of actual informative stuff on the DVD, so anyone should check that out. In the liner notes they had 40 reasons to hate Bush...and while I'm ripping about 30 cds on my computer, I figured I'd put them on here.

20 Reasons to Hate Bush Jr.

1. the national debt under bush jr. has increased so drastically that the average american's estimated share of national debt will be an astronomical $24,000 - compared to $500 when Dubya first took office.

2. under bush jr. there are now 43 million americans with no health insurance.

3. responsible for an unemployment rate of 6%, there are now 9 million people out of work in america, 3.3 million more than when bush took office.

4. he cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

5. bush jr deserted his unit during vietnam and was reportedly awol for over a year from his assigned unit: the texas air national guard, or as its referred to by other military outfits, the "champagne division"

6. despite a 13& unemployment rate among those aged 16-24, bush jr proposed to eliminate youth opportunity grants - a program that provides job training to the nations youth. a $225 million program in 2002 is now being done away with so bush can have more money for iraq.

7. he cut funding for 375,000 low income college students and reduced pell grant amounts to such a severe degree that it effectively caused 84,000 students to no longer be eligible for pell grants. pell amounts have been overall reduced for 1.5 million students...its safe to say that the bush daughters arent eligible for financial aid, so this wont affect the opulent lives of anyone bush jr may know.

8. withdrew from the international criminal court.

9. first president in us history to refuse united nations election inspectors (during the 2002 us elections)

10. all time us (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations

11. the bush administration had twice as many fbi agents fighting the drug war than fighting terrorism prior to 9/11. even after 9/11, more than 2000 fbi agents are wasting their valuable time on the war on drugs.

12. his proposed "free trade" agreements would result in the loss of us jobs to foreign markets and the exploitation of third world workers.


14. he has taken 11 official executive actions to undermine reproductive rights...how long will it be before a woman is stripped of her right to choose?

15. failed to fulfill pledge to get osama 'dead or alive'

16. wasted federal resources on a pr trip to baghdad where he staged a thanksgiving meal at 6am with troops that were screened based on their political affiliation. and the turkey? it was a prop.

17. his refusal to fire - or even reprimand - lt general jerry 'our god is bigger than their god' boykin. perhaps its because boykin said of the president, 'george bush was not elected by a majority of voters in the united states. he was appointed by god. hes in the white house because god put him there.'

18. after sending troops off to die in an unjust and unprovoked war, he still has yet to attend any soldier's funerals.

19. his shameless nepotism for the rich and powerful. elizabeth cheney (daughter of dick) got hooked up with a cool gig at the state department where she was in charge of the &129 million middle east partnership initiative and then was moved over to daddy and uncle dubya's campaign payroll.

20. he dropped his dog on it's head.

20 more reasons to hate bush will comne later I guess...I have to get to work soon.

5 short eating assgrabbers| eat my shorts

wow i missed you [15 Jul 2004|01:57am]
yeah, so i forgot i had this. didnt have much to say in a while i guess, but i will soon. actually i do now.

so ive been listening to more and more music lately. ive incorporated more hip hop, jazz, indie, and chill music into my listening reportoire. im writing more too, but my lack of an attention span frequently deters this.

anyway, the orientation for neu was this weekend, and it was fucking great. i met the coolest kids ever, and spent all night bonding and hanging out and watching the sun come up at the reflection pool. cant wait to get back to school and keep hanging out with these ELITE kids.

so i got the new alexisonfire the other day. im in love. id think id be disappointed and hate it considering how much of a drop in intensity and energy it is from the last album, but i dont know...its more pretty. i like pretty.

yeah, so there goes the attention span again. fuck, ill keep you guys posted on stuff.
eat my shorts

well look at that [06 May 2004|10:41pm]
[ mood | bonerific ]

things ive managed to do in the past week

1) love sarah more than the air i breathe
2) ruin a bunch of acts at the talent show
3) also ruin a whole slew of hosting skits for the talent show
4) get suspendered for 3 days
5) get into a small scuffle (which of course got blown out of proportion, and may have been the spark to start a war)

so anyway, rumors to shoot down about this all...(for anyone who doesnt know, im me)

1)chris did not get his ass kicked by me
2)i did not get my ass kicked by chris, pat, or anyone else
3)i did not punch chris in the back of the head, i pushed him, maybe the whiplash seemed like a punch or maybe im insanely strong
4)i did not punch chris in the face and break his glasses
5)i did not tear chris' glasses off his face and break them in half...the only conclusion i can get from this is that they fell off as we wrestled and someone rolled ont them
6)i did not get arrested
7)chris did not go to the hospital with a broken arm
8)chris was not arrested
9)i was not suspended for 10, 20, or 30 days (over 10 days would be expulsion anyway fellas) i was in fact suspended for 3 days

thats about it...the whole thing lasted about 15-20 seconds until it was broken up. the only things i can say is that it was totally blown up to something that it really wasnt, and that from this i now know that kaitlin david is the toughest and ballsiest (or ovariest?) girl i know, and that a lot more shit has gone on since this. ahh well, its all just a fun way to end my senior year before i head off to boston. maybe not fun for other people, but i guess im the only one that sees the lighter side of violent altercations.

4 short eating assgrabbers| eat my shorts

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